How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone Who Hurt You

Person staring out of window at night — symbol of mental obsession after emotional abandonment
You keep checking their page.
You replay what they said.
You analyze what you should’ve done differently.
Even though you know they’re gone, your emotions won’t shut off.

This isn’t just heartbreak.
It’s obsession.
And you didn’t choose it—it’s a trauma response.

When someone hurts you deeply and walks away without accountability, your brain panics.

It starts obsessing—not because you miss the person,
but because you never got emotional closure.

The mind doesn’t like loose ends.
It tries to solve what doesn’t make sense.
So it loops, hoping if it just thinks hard enough… it will finally feel better.
But here’s what makes it worse:
  • You blame yourself for still caring
  • You confuse obsession with love
  • You think “getting over it” means forgetting what happened

None of that is true.
Letting go doesn’t mean erasing what they did.
It means refusing to give your peace to someone who already stole your trust.
You’re allowed to feel angry, confused, and sad. But you’re also allowed to reclaim your thoughts. To stop thinking in circles and start thinking like someone who deserves peace.


🔗 Source: Harvard Health explains how emotional betrayal disrupts neurological closure, fueling mental fixation.

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